The New Adventures of Fang
by twoEPICNESSwriters
Summary: Fang's new adventures with the twoEPICNESSwriters! Even though Fang's supposed to be with his new gang, we didn't want to write about that because of "Maya" eh... ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

**The New Adventures of Fang**

**Disclaimers: We own nothing!**

**Lizzie's POV**

Well, I'm at Rachel's house right now watching some animated movie. Then all of a sudden- BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"Not again!" Rachel yelled, running upstairs into her parent's bedroom. She came back running down the stairs yelling, "Even if you unplug it, it still works because it has batteries in it too! No!" she yelled running back into her parent's room and unplugging the clock that has a pencil holder included in it, then running back down the stairs with it.

"It won't shut up!" I screamed. Then I proceeded to run around screaming with my hands over my ears.

"How are we going to kill it?"

"Throw it out the window!"

"Okay!" I took my hands off my ears, wanting to hear the sound of when the stupid clock thing dies. Rachel ran to the sink and threw the clock thing at the window behind it, making a shattering sound and then we heard someone say 'ow'. The bright side was that the clock stopped making noises.

"Hark, who goes there?" I asked, taking my invisible staff and twirling it around.

"Fang." The voice replied.

"Fang!" I said, gasping. I heard Rachel gasp, too. "Like, the real Fang?"

"Is there a fake me?" he asked.

"Yes." Rachel said, picking up a shard of glass and throwing it at Fang.

"Ow!" he yelled. We hopped out of the window above the sink like ninjas and then walked up to a damaged Fang, who was sitting on the ground looking confused. His black wings tattered.

"It's the real Fang!" I yelled, pointing.

"How do you-" I caught Rachel off and pointed a little above Fang's head.

"Look, Bigfoot!" I yelled.

"Where?" Fang asked, looking around.

"See, that's how I know it's the real Fang."


	2. Chapter 2

**The New Adventures of Fang**

**Disclaimers: We own nothing!**

**Rachel's POV**

So it was true, Fang was standing my backyard. "Hey, do you guys have any Pita Chips? Those things are AH-MA-ZING!" We said nothing, even though there was a full bag of pita chips inside my house and I knew it. Lizzie and I used out amazing telepathic powers and sent a message saying "Get him"

Thank god for the toddlersized Winnie the Pooh chairs in my basement. They finally served some other purpose other than art and craft time. Fang was strapped to the Eeyore chair, using some cute, colorful, scarves I had. His legs stretched out in front of him because of his tallness, and the chair's shortness.

"Fang. I'm going to ask you again, and if I don't get the answer I want, the punishment is on it's way. WILL YOU DATE ME?" Lizzie said.

"For the last time... No, I have a girlfriend. Thank you for the offer."

"Well you HAD a girlfriend until you decided to act like a total jerk-face and leave." I added.

"That's debateable," he reminded "But the answer is still NO!"

"You're not cooperating, so here comes the punishment." Lizzie reached out behind her, the TV remote in her hand, and turned on Shake It Up.

"NOT SHAKE IT UP!" he wailed, "THE SHOW THAT IS A DISGRACE TO CHICAGO WITH ITS HORRIBLE COMPUTER GENERATED CHICAGO PICTURES THAT LOOK NOTHING LIKE THAT AMAZINGLY AWESOME CITY! PLEASE ANYTHING ELSE!"

"Believe me, its as much of a punishment to you as it is to us..." I muttered. We watched the two characters, who shall not be named cause I don't want to, dance their way through "problems." Occasionally we would glance back at Fang to see him shuttering at the horror.

We were about halfway through when I began hearing BANG BANG BANG. In sync we turned around just in time to see Fang hopping across the floor and falling to land on his back. "Lizzie, get the french green beans."


	3. Chapter 3

**The New Adventures of Fang**

**Disclaimers: We own nothing!**

**Lizzie's POV**

I smiled as Rachel told me to get the French green beans. I stood up from the little Winnie the Pooh chair with Tigger on it and got a can of French green beans and scarf from my purse. I know, you're probably wondering why I carry that around with me, but really it's just because if I ever get into a situation like this one, I always have something to torture people with.

I pulled a spork out of my purse (I use that to torture people, too) and jabbed it at the top of the can multiple times, while repeatedly saying "Jab!". I got the can open within ten seconds and then threw the top of the can at the TV, causing it to break and Shake It Up to turn off. I then threw the scarf at Rachel and she tied it around his mouth.

"Fang, do you remember how I captured you that other time in Hot Topic?" I asked him, pacing back and forth in front of him while opening another can of French green beans. Rachel quickly super glued the bottom of the legs on the Eeyore chair to the ground so Fang couldn't move and so he was upright now. He slightly nodded his head at my question. "Well, this is going to be twenty times worse than before and this time I'm not sending you back to Max or anyone! Unless Max asks me, but I'm not sending you to your stupid 'Fang gang' because you totally broke Max's heart even more with having 'Maya' in it and that is totally not cool! And then you're all mad that she's with Dylan, but that's your fault! Now, she might have to 'populate' or whatever with that stupid face! Then you're with 'Maya', and no she is not her own freakin' individual! I happen to be best friends with two pairs of twins and they are individuals, Maya isn't because she's a freakin' clone! Plus, she's trying to steal Max's thunder. Not cool man to go after your ex's clone, not cool. Rachel, take the scarf off around his mouth, I want to hear what he has to say for himself."

"Uh... It's all Michael Jacks-" he started, but Rachel hit him in the back of the head.

"Don't get MJ involved!" she yelled.

"Fine! Okay, really it's all... the Red Rangers fault." Rachel and I both gasped.

"What?" I asked, making my eyes widen. "The Power Rangers never do wrong!" I exclaimed, throwing a ninja star at Fang, which he somehow dodged.

"Well, they- Ow! What was that for?" Fang exclaimed, trying to look at Rachel behind him.

"What are you, four? All I did was take the ninja star Lizzie threw at you and poke your back with it." Rachel told him, revealing a ninja star from behind him.

Fang rolled his eyes and looked back at me. "Okay, yeah, I guess everything is my fault, but Angel actually told me she was going to kill me if I didn't leave in a couple of days because she didn't like that I was dating Max because really, she liked me."

"I knew my theory was true!" I yelled, pointing a finger up in the air.

"Well, you're still a stupid head, Fang." Rachel said, hitting the back of his head again.


	4. Chapter 4

**The New Adventures of Fang**

**Disclaimers: We own nothing!**

**Rachel's POV**

Oh, yes, I slapped Fang. And oh, yes.. it felt good. "I may be a stupid head, but at least I'm not INSANE! I'm not the one that chained someone to a Pooh Bear chair using colorful scarves! By the way, the scarves are totally cramping my style."

"Oh, yes. I knew that they would cramp your style Fang. But the small portion of sane that is still left in my brain told me that it would help us get what we want out of you," I retorted.

"Which would be..."

"I don't even know yet!" I replied with insane cheer.

"Ha!" Lizzie and I cried in unison.

"Okay, now I'm officially scared," Fang said, a slight quiver in his voice.

"Be scared Fang, be very scared," Lizzie replied, creepily. Somehow a magical flashlight appeared in her hands and was shining up at her face while she was saying that. The lights were tuned off and Lizzie looked like some horror movie person. I got another flashlight, then we began circling around him, slowly, with our gazes fixed on his dark eyes when we could see them.

"Lizzie Lizard, go get the therapist." She went over to her sleepover duffel bag, and pulled out a dirty old penguin stuffed animal.

"Meet the therapist. His name is Waddlesworth The Third. He has solved all of our problems since we first met," Lizzie explained.

"Looks like you have had a lot of problems..." Fang said, almost under his breath. But not soft enough for me not to hear it, so I slapped him cause hes a meanie.

"WE DO NOT!" I protested, "But now, it's your turn. Tell the penguin all that's on your mind. He's listening..."

"I am not going to tell this penguin all that I'm thinking about! HE'S A STUFFED ANIMAL!"

I pulled Waddlesworth back into my arms and shielded his ears from hearing the 'S.A.' word. "It's okay, it's okay Waddlesworth. He didn't mean it. Fang here just had anger management issues. We're working on it. Shhhhhh. Shhhhhh," I hushed the turned to Lizzie, "Here, calm down Waddlesworth while I take care of Fang. " Lizzie took the therapist and I walked over to Fang.

"APOLOGIZE!" I commanded.

"Anger management? I do not-" Fang defended until I slapped him.

"APOLOGIZE!"

"NO!"

"Well them, we will just have to watch more Shake It Up until you apologize."

"No!"

"But I broke the T-" Lizzie started, but I swatted at her.

"Shh! No you didn't, what are you talking about?" I said threw my teeth.


	5. Chapter 5

**The New Adventures of Fang**

**Disclaimers: We own nothing!**

**Lizzie's POV**

Okay, how were we going to torture Fang? I mean like, I broke the T.V., so we can't torture him with Shake It Up. Wait! Then I got an idea.

I have Max's call phone number from times I have met her. I smiled at my idea and called Max on my cell phone. I put it on speaker phone.

"Who, who are you calling?" Fang asked squirming in his chair.

I smirked and looked him straight in the face. "Max."

His mouth opened and then he squirmed more.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I do not want to talk to Max!"

"Too late." I whispered. Max picked up.

"What now FanGi-" she started.

"Call me Lizzie for right now! I have Fang here with me and I need you to lecture him."

"Uh... Lemme think about that. No, it's 2:30 in the freakin' morning! I am tired! Bye!" she hung up.

"Well..." Rachel said.

"Wait, it's 2:30 in the morning?" I asked everybody.

"Yeah."

Fang nodded his head, too.

"Oh."

"Can I go to sleep?" Fang asked suddenly tiredly.

"No!" Rachel yelled at him, thumping the back of his head.

"Let's go get Shamrock Shakes!" I yelled.

"Yeah! Come on Fang, we're going to get Shamrock Shakes."

"I'm strapped in a chair, how am I-" he started.

"I'm a ghost for crying out loud and I would probably be able to get out of that chair in a second." I told him.

"You're a ghost?"

"Yes I am! Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, it's just that you're not see-through."

"Don't even get me started on that crap or I'll get a book to throw at you. Let's go get Shamrock Shakes!"

"I still need to-"

"No, figure out your self how to get out of the chair."

"Okay... Can one of you get me out of this chair?"

"No." I said, but I nodded my head to Rachel to get him out.

"Why couldn't you get me out of the chair?" he asked.

"Because I'm a ghosts and ghosts can't hold scissors because the scissors will fall right through their hand unless they turn it into ghost scissors, but I don't feel like doing that. Now, let's go get some Shamrock Shakes!"

Fang and Rachel stood up and then we headed up the stairs.

After ten long minutes, we finally got to McDonald's. The whole entire way there Fang was opening up about his life and crying. Of course, we just smacked him on the side of the head, told him to shut up, and told him he was a sissy.

When we got there, we were debating whether to go through the drive through (even though we took the shoelace express), or just walk in. After another ten minutes, we decided to go through the drive through, one by one.

I was first, so I walked up to the speaker and waited.

"Can I take your order?" the speaker asked.

"No." I replied, then walking just a little forward to look like I ordered something. Rachel did the same.

Then, Fang ordered three medium Shamrock Shakes for himself. After he paid, he looked at us.

"Where's your Shamrock Shakes?" he asked.

"You just ordered three of them, one for me, one for Lizzie, and one for you." Rachel told him.

"But I wanted three!"

"No, you only get one!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Ugh... fine." Then, he got the drinks from the second window and shoved them to us. "There."

"Let's go get dino chicken nuggets now, then Lizzie can ask them our future using her ghost powers." Rachel said.

"Yeah!"

"What?" Fang exclaimed.


	6. Chapter 6

The New Adventures Of Fang

**Disclaimers: We own nothing!**

**Rachel's POV**

FANG DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT DINO CHICKEN NUGGETS FUTURE TELLING POWERS? God, he really is and idoit...

"They're freckin chicken nuggests... HOW CAN THEY TELL THE FUTURE?" Fang asked. I just sat there, staring at him. "Are you going to answer my question?"

"You should already know the answer to that question, Fang... so I'm not going to tell you something you should already know..." I replied.

"Alrightey then..."

We both sat there, silently, for so long that eventually it became a staring contest.

Fang blinked, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU LOSE! I WIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I screamed.

"You are a mean person..." Fang pouted.

"Oh you're just sad because...becuase...can you guess it? YOU LOST! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Rachel, stop rubbing Fang's horrible, crushing loss to a 13 year old girl in his face!" Lizzie called.

"But...but...but...ITS JUST SO FUN!"

Fang burst into tears and ran behind the couch.

"He's a baby." I stage whispered over to Lizzie.

"I know." Lizzie stage whispered.

"HEY, I HEARD THAT!"

"You were supposed to." I stage whispered.

My two dogs, Tiamo and Oscar, came from upstairs and went to where Fang was behind the couch. At the sight of my two tiny dogs, Fang began to scream. "GET THESES MONSTERS AWAY FROM ME! THEIR LICKING ME!"

"Good dog," I replied.

"Let's watch Tranformers!" Lizzie suggested.

"YAH!" I cried at the same time Fang was yelling, "No!"

"Ok now were offically watching it because Fang doesn't want to," Lizzie concluded.

"But there's one problem, I don't own the movie. My neighbors do, but I don't."

"WELL THEN LETS GO ACT LIKE NINJAS AND STEAL IT!"

"I'm so in. Fang, you in?"

"Do I really have a choice?"

"Ummmmm, no."

"Then I guess I'm in."

"YAY!"


End file.
